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My Egocentric Boss is Obsessed with Me: Understanding and Dealing with Workplace Narcissism

Working under an egocentric boss can be a challenging and draining experience. Their constant need for attention, admiration, and control can create a toxic work environment that affects not only your productivity but also your mental well-being. In some cases, this obsession can become personal, with the boss fixating on a particular employee. In this article, we will explore the signs of an egocentric boss, understand the reasons behind their obsession, and provide strategies for dealing with this challenging situation.

Signs of an Egocentric Boss

Before delving into the specifics of an egocentric boss’s obsession, it is crucial to identify the signs that indicate their narcissistic tendencies. Here are some common traits to watch out for:

  • Constant need for admiration and praise
  • Exaggerated sense of self-importance
  • Lack of empathy towards others
  • Exploitative behavior to achieve personal goals
  • Belief in their superiority and entitlement
  • Difficulty accepting criticism or feedback

These signs may manifest in various ways, such as taking credit for others’ work, belittling colleagues, or disregarding the opinions and feelings of their subordinates. However, when an egocentric boss becomes fixated on a particular employee, the situation can escalate to a whole new level.

The Reasons Behind the Obsession

Understanding the underlying reasons for an egocentric boss’s obsession with a specific employee is crucial in finding effective ways to deal with the situation. While each case may vary, here are some common factors that contribute to this behavior:

Threat to Their Ego

An egocentric boss may become obsessed with an employee who poses a threat to their inflated sense of self-importance. This threat can arise from the employee’s competence, skills, or ability to challenge the boss’s ideas. In such cases, the boss may feel the need to assert their dominance and control over the employee to protect their fragile ego.

Need for Validation

Egocentric individuals often seek constant validation and admiration from others. When they find an employee who consistently provides this validation, they may become fixated on that person. The employee’s praise and admiration become a source of narcissistic supply for the boss, reinforcing their self-perception of superiority.

Projection of Insecurities

Another reason for an egocentric boss’s obsession with a particular employee can be the projection of their own insecurities onto that person. The boss may see qualities or achievements in the employee that they desire for themselves but lack. This projection fuels their obsession as they try to control and possess those qualities vicariously through the employee.

Strategies for Dealing with an Obsessed Boss

Dealing with an egocentric boss who is obsessed with you can be emotionally draining and impact your professional growth. However, there are strategies you can employ to navigate this challenging situation:

1. Set Boundaries

Establishing clear boundaries is essential when dealing with an obsessed boss. Clearly communicate your expectations and limits regarding their behavior towards you. This can help create a professional distance and discourage their obsession.

2. Document Incidents

Keep a record of any incidents or interactions with your boss that make you uncomfortable or cross professional boundaries. This documentation can serve as evidence if you need to escalate the issue to higher authorities or HR.

3. Seek Support

Reach out to trusted colleagues, mentors, or friends who can provide emotional support and guidance during this challenging time. Having a support system can help you maintain your mental well-being and provide valuable insights on how to handle the situation.

4. Focus on Your Work

While it may be tempting to engage with your obsessed boss or try to change their behavior, it is crucial to prioritize your work and professional growth. Focus on delivering high-quality work and achieving your goals, regardless of the boss’s obsession.

5. Seek Mediation

If the situation becomes unbearable or starts to affect your well-being, consider seeking mediation from HR or a neutral third party. Mediation can help facilitate a constructive conversation between you and your boss, with the aim of finding a resolution or mitigating the negative impact of their obsession.


1. How can I differentiate between a boss who is genuinely interested in my growth and one who is obsessed with me?

A genuinely interested boss will focus on your professional development, provide constructive feedback, and support your growth. On the other hand, an obsessed boss will display signs of narcissism, such as constant need for attention, lack of empathy, and exploitative behavior. They may also exhibit possessive tendencies and disregard your boundaries.

2. Can an obsessed boss’s behavior be changed?

Changing an egocentric boss’s behavior can be challenging, as it requires them to acknowledge their narcissistic tendencies and be open to personal growth. However, by setting boundaries, documenting incidents, and seeking mediation, you may be able to mitigate the negative impact of their obsession.

3. How can I protect my mental well-being in such a toxic work environment?

Protecting your mental well-being in a toxic work environment is crucial. Seek support from trusted colleagues or friends outside of work who can provide emotional support. Engage in stress-reducing activities outside of work, such as exercise, hobbies, or mindfulness practices. Consider seeking professional help, such as therapy, if the situation becomes overwhelming.

4. What are the long-term effects of working under an obsessed boss?

Working under an obsessed boss can have long-term effects on your mental health, self-esteem, and job satisfaction. It may lead to increased stress, anxiety, and burnout. It can also hinder your professional growth and limit your potential by creating a hostile work environment.

5. When should I consider leaving my job due to an obsessed boss?

Leaving a job should be a last resort when dealing with an obsessed boss. However, if the situation becomes unbearable, affects your mental well-being, and hinders your professional growth despite your efforts to address the issue, it may be time to consider exploring other job opportunities.


Working under an egocentric boss who is obsessed with you can be a challenging and emotionally draining experience. By understanding the signs of an egocentric boss, the reasons behind their obsession, and employing effective strategies, you can navigate this difficult situation. Setting boundaries, documenting incidents, seeking support, focusing

Diya Patel
Diya Patel
Diya Patеl is an еxpеriеncеd tеch writеr and AI еagеr to focus on natural languagе procеssing and machinе lеarning. With a background in computational linguistics and machinе lеarning algorithms, Diya has contributеd to growing NLP applications.

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